Do’s and Don’ts for planning, hosting the perfect wedding
Planning the perfect wedding has become more difficult, as many of the traditions that were once considered must-dos have been replaced with nouveau ideas designed to make a couple ¬– and their wedding – stand out. We’ve put together some modern dos and don’ts. There are fewer faux pas today than ever before, but with proper planning, you can pull off the perfect event.
BY MANDY WOLF DETWILER
PUT A RING ON IT
DO choose a ring you will love for the rest of your life. “I would try to block out any negative feedback you get from other people and listen to your own intuition,” says Jacquelyn Koerber, chief operating officer of Koerber’s Fine Jewelry. “I can’t tell you how many times I have a woman in our store that says she always wanted a certain style but got talked out of it because it might not have been the ‘in’ thing to do. This is your own very personal ring that you will wear every day for the rest of you life… make sure you absolutely love it.”
DON’T forget to consider a matching wedding band to make sure you like the finished look as a set. “If the engagement ring doesn’t have a matching component, ask to see what your options are for selecting a wedding band,” Koerber adds. “If you want something a little more unique, you could mix different textures, shapes or even metals with your engagement ring. For example, if you have a white gold engagement ring you could pair it with a rose gold wedding band.”
PICKING A DATE
DO consider what time of year you prefer, says wedding planner Jamie Lott of Events4U. “More and more people are saying fall. They love the fall colors,” Lott says. “The last few years we’ve had a huge trend in mid-September through October. October has become the new June.”
DON’T wait. Venues fill up during busy months, but so do service providers like florists, cake decorators and even the wedding spots themselves. “You’re probably not going to get the venue you want unless you’re working a year ahead,” Lott says.
THE WEDDING PARTY
DO pick your closest friends. Bridesmaids and groomsmen shell out hundreds of dollars to be a part of a single wedding, and the workload itself can cause hard feelings.
DON’T “feel obligated to put someone in your wedding that you’re not close to,” Lott adds. “So many brides have somebody that they’ve put in their wedding that they may not be very close to, but they felt obligated to because their aunt is going to be hurt if her daughter is not in the wedding. Your wedding day should be about the people you care about, and those are the people you want with you, especially the bridal party.
DO try on several, and don’t pick the first one you fall in love with. You can always go back to it. Make sure you consider the fit of your dress if you’re following an exercise plan and dieting.
DON’T ignore fittings. “When I plan a wedding for a bride, I attend at least two of her fittings because I want to make sure that dress fits correctly,” says Lott. “Bridal gowns tend to stretch a tiny bit once a bride has worn them for an hour or so. I like them to fit extra snug. I tease brides and say if they can’t breathe, we know it fits!”
DO chose a venue based on your budget and “know everything about that venue before you sign. Read that contract thoroughly,” Lott advises.
DON’T leave a lot of time between your ceremony and your reception. Though it’s your day, your guests are giving up time and money to celebrate. Make it easy on them.
DO “remember you don’t have to break the bank to be satisfied with your (invitation) choice and do keep it simple,” says Nicole Parr, a graphic artist with Louisville-based Phoenix Business Systems Inc. “Your invitation is the first glimpse your guests will get of the look and feel of your wedding. An invitation is best when it reflects the mood and ambiance you hope to achieve on your special day.”
DON’T “be overwhelmed and distracted by the endless options of this saturated market,” she adds. “In the end, an invitation that represents the happy couple’s personal style will be a treasured keepsake for years to come.”
THE GUEST LIST
DO choose your guest list based on families and friends from both sides.
DON’Tchoose a venue that is too small for your wedding. “That obviously includes your décor and any type of tables. Don’t assume that even the best planner can shove it all in there,” Lott says. “It won’t look right. Give yourself enough room to make it look nice.”
DO use professional entertainment. “We’ve seen the DIY wedding reception with the iPod playlist go really bad,” said Brent Rogers, co-owner of Sounds Unlimited Productions. “When you handle it with a professional, what you’re going to get is someone who can read the crowd and understand if they’re responding to, say, old school hip-hop. They can also shift gears with that and bring in some disco or ’90s sing-along. Having a professional there who can read the crowd and rotate the danced floor is crucial for a successful event.
DON’T restrict yourself into one style or genre. “We had a bride several years ago who was a huge Elvis fan and her entire playslist was made up of Elvis songs and Elvis cover songs,” recounted Rogers.” I suggested to her maybe we should shake this up a bit, and she insisted elvis was her guy and this is what she wanted. … We went through the formalities and once the party started, we had 300 people in the room. About 15 minutes into the reception, we had a group pf bridesmaids come up and tell us how terrible we were and told us the bride was in the bathroom crying because no one was dancing. I replied, “Here’s the all-Elvis playlist and the bride told us to stick to it … but if you give me 15 minutes and let me play whatever I want, I will get the dance floor back, get the party started and of course play some Elvis. Lo and behold, that’s exactly what happened. Don’t tie the hand behind the professional’s back. We know what we’re doing and want to do this for you.”