By Annie Goodman
I have been told that if I don’t know where I stand with someone, then it might be time to stop standing and start walking. So that’s what I have done over and over, only to turn around and see an ex becoming serious and making a life with another girl who isn’t me. Automatically, I think to myself, “What is wrong with me?” But I know that it has very little to do with me and everything to do with that ex-boyfriend: I wasn’t the one for them. I get it. But it doesn’t stop the hurt.
A good friend of mine reminds me almost daily that I am “the prize” and sooner or later, I will find my Prince Charming, but I can’t help but to wonder whether he even exists.
Rewind to January 2015. Surrounded by my married girlfriends, I reluctantly joined Tinder. For those of you who have been stuck under a rock (I kid), let me explain Tinder. It’s a dating app that is downloaded to your phone. One caveat: You must have a Facebook account in order to create a profile on the app. Now, Tinder is very basic. Your profile consists of your first name, age (whether you tell the truth is up to you) and photos you choose to upload. Since it is linked to Facebook, Tinder will let you know if you have Facebook friends in common with a potential match and the pages you both have mutually liked. By using your location, you will find potential matches in proximity to you. To narrow your search down even more, you can choose the age range you prefer as well as distance. When your potential matches pop up, it is only a picture of them – let the judging begin – and you can either swipe right to “like” them or swipe left to pass. If you both have “swipe liked” each other, it will show you have matched, and you can start messaging with one another via Tinder.
Which brings me to my first Tinder date…
This particular guy was from the Louisville area, nice looking and seemed to be successful, at least from what he told me. On a particular day during the week, he messaged me and asked if I was busy that evening because he had an extra concert ticket and was going with a group of friends. I immediately started to panic because this was completely out of my comfort zone, but knowing that a few of my friends would be there as well was enough to ease my mind. So, Tinder Guy and I exchanged phone numbers and made plans for that evening. (Note: Any time I plan to meet a guy for the first time, I always let a friend know my whereabouts and the guy’s name and info because you never know these days. I encourage you, male or female, to do the same.)
Tinder Guy and I met up at a restaurant in downtown Louisville, which was close to the venue. After a few drinks and appetizers, we headed to the concert and made our way to the suite, where we met up with his friends and hung out. The first musical group performed, and by the time the headliners came on stage, my so-called match was drunk. Really, really drunk.
Once we sat down in our seats, he put his arm around me and started asking, Do you want to make out?” every other minute. No joke. Of course, my answer was no. He obviously had consumed far too much to drink, and I was now completely uncomfortable and began making plans to exit. There was no way I was going to be able have a rational conversation with Tinder Guy, so when he got up to talk to his friends in the row in front us and almost fell over, I hightailed it – with my head up, mind you – out of that suite and never looked back, only forward.