The best lessons I’ve learned in life are when I’ve been disappointed in someone or an unfavorable outcome. No one likes to be disappointed, but it does provide thought to issues and gives insight to situations.

We all stress about memories of good or bad experiences, and this tends to shape our reaction in the future. In my opinion, there is a lot to learn about a person. We can all learn from each other by observing how others deal with the good and the bad. If you talk to someone you trust about the bad times, in turn you’ll be better equipped to deal with more bad times as they come.

I’ve learned some people are all talk and make plans and promises, but when it’s time to get down to it— it’s all talk. The proof is in the pudding, so to speak. Most people have good intentions, but they speak too soon, and without thinking about what they are agreeing to. For me, actions do speak louder than words. Personally, I like to take my time to think and look it over before I commit to anything. I believe if more people did the same, and took the time to think about what they are committing to, we could be a better society. We live in such a fast-paced society, we often over book ourselves. Even if someone has the best intentions, their failure to complete the task typically leads to disappointment. In a lot of cases, something with their personal life comes up and I think it’s important to respect that. However, I also believe it is important to take a rain check and make plans for the future.

Overtime it’s been very difficult for me to maintain relationships with people because their actions never seem to match their promises. So, I watch body language. It’s my opinion that you can learn a lot from it. People tend to say one thing, but signal something else with their facial expressions or gestures. With some, I sometimes can get a feeling from their spirit or aura which helps guide my first impression of them. Your impressions of people can influence how the relationship grows and shapes. These impressions can change over time, of course— for either good or bad.

Through the years, you eventually learn to take it slow when developing trust; partially to see if someone’s actions match their words, partially to make sure their intentions aren’t to hurt you. Once you’ve been hurt, you begin to guard yourself in fear of letting someone back in. It’s especially hard for people whose intentions are good, because they have to work harder to prove themselves. Regardless of how or where you meet a person, there will always be that chance they will be a great reward to your life, or they could hurt you.

Simply put: people need to learn how to follow through.  There are many ways to maintain a positive relationship.  Listening is always a vital characteristic of a healthy relationship. Compromising on situations is equally important. Compromise is about valuing the other’s point of view. I wasn’t always good at compromising; it can be hard at points, but it’s the people around you that make compromise possible. When you put forth the effort to compromise with the people you trust, it doesn’t feel necessarily like a compromise. Try to find people in your life that you feel comfortable compromising with, and that care enough about your well being to compromise with you. Most importantly, don’t allow yourself to be put into a one-dimensional relationship. Take time to evaluate the situations and people in your life. Then take the time to evaluate your impact on others.

Until next time, this is how I roll.